What Does Your Favorite Peloton Instructor Say About You: Dancers Edition
Of course we have a few instructors on the roster who are Serious Athletes: ultramarathoners, bike racers, college team alums, and even an Olympian! It doesn’t take a Serious Athlete Background to be an awesome instructor, though- and we also have a few on the roster whose primary pre-Peloton athletic pursuit was moving to the music. If one of these folks is your favorite, get ready to groove! You’re going to be some of the easier folks to read- this crowd gets loud.
If your favorite instructor is Hannah Corbin, you might be anywhere between 16 and 86 years old, and all these things will still be true- you’re the sort of person who keeps a pretty even course through life. You’ve had a lot of musical talent since childhood- you could pick up a harmonica, or a tambourine, or maybe just a couple sticks, and get people singing and moving around. (You were a really cute kid, too. No one could resist.) Being so talented and charming helped you get away with a lot, though you only used your powers for good (mostly.) You’re not known as a runner, but one of these days, we’re all going to be surprised when you roll in at the finish line of a marathon, Tunde-style. You might walk it, you might limp it, but if you get it in your head to finish it, you absolutely will. (Actually, maybe we won’t be too surprised when that happens, because it won’t be the first time you’ve done something a little unexpected.) You make up songs and sing to your pets (and it’s still so irresistible to others that your significant other knows all the songs, and harmonizes.) How about stepping out of your norm and going a little more hardcore- maybe a Rock Shadowboxing class with Jermaine will mix it up for you (in a nice, controlled way, of course!)
If your favorite instructor is Emma Lovewell, people look shocked when they hear you drop a cuss word, and you’re not sure why. Might be because, like a Chelsea lover, you have a bit of a “she’s so sweet” feeling about her. There are quite a few things you might be doing for a living- executive chef, spa aesthetician, and kitchen designer (with a specialty in tile) come to mind, though you likely also volunteer on the side at a cat rescue or an urban garden that grows food for homeless shelters. You either love bugs or you’re terrified of them- there is no in between. You’re going to write a nonfiction book someday, or a lifestyle blog, and you likely have a novel kicking around the back of your mind as well. You have a total green thumb and can bring plants back to life when they seem beyond rescue. If you have a pen and a piece of scrap paper available (which you do, because you adore office supplies), it will be covered with swirly doodles without any conscious thought or intention. (Your work ethic is great, though sometimes it doesn’t come across that way when you’re constantly scribbling.) You know what you need more of in life, though? Thunder 45.
If your favorite instructor is Rebecca Kennedy, you’re really hard to embarass- you’ll happily wear a lobster costume, pull a Coyote Ugly on the bar at TGIFriday’s, or walk into an open mic night drop a spontaneous poem. (Your significant other, if you have one now or in the future, is probably even more shameless than you are!) You were a bit nerdy and awkward growing up, so it was a real treat for you to grow into your confidence- people have definitely thrown the phrase “glow up” in your direction. Your secret interest is ancient history and landmarks of the world-if a documentary about the building of Machu Picchu comes on, you’re going to be stuck on the couch for a while, and you WILL make it to the Great Wall of China someday. You love The Weather Channel and follow meterologists on Twitter, as it brings you immense happiness to know about a storm coming before the rest of the world. (Really, any of those educational-ish cable channels is your jam- learn something AND veg out a little bit on the couch with snacks.) You’ve made it to adulthood without really learning to tie shoes and have zero shame about it. Take a Total Strength 60 with Andy. You’ll dig it on every level. (No, I’m not encouraging you to step outside your normal box. We don’t always need to do that, and you’re already an outside-the-box kind of person.)
If your favorite instructor is Jess King, you’re probably pretty tight with the Rebecca Kennedy lovers. You’re a really great friend in general and you’re always up for an adventure with one of your besties- doesn’t matter if it’s out of your comfort zone or not. (What IS outside your comfort zone? Going to Walmart at 2 am. That’s never been your scene, though you’re up for just about any other scene there is.) At the end of a long day, you like kicking back with a glass of wine, your dog, and some old Law and Orders. You’ll skydive, surf, skateboard even if you’re not all that great at it, but you will not enter a cave… that’s how people die, you know? You’re not that dumb. In fact, you’re really smart- you got good grades all through school and rocked your SAT- and are just as good at numbers as you are at words. Probably because it comes naturally, you’re always learning something new- it might be a TikTok dance, but it might also be calculating nutrition macros or color charts, and you definitely speak a second language (and sometimes speak in rhymes, if you’re feeling saucy.) Practice your third language, maybe, with a strength class from Assal. (Can you make it through without subtitles? Might motivate you a little extra… as some proof, your author here is a massive Jess King fan, and since her subtitle-free encounter with Fiesta Latina, ella estudia la idioma de espanol mucho y ahora sabe como dice esta en espanol sin buscar en Google.)
If your favorite instructor is Sam Yo, you get into people’s heads and they can’t get you out. Maybe it was something you said, or a glance, or the way you pulled out that tray of cookies at JUST the right moment, but they just don’t forget you. You have more than your share of genetic luck- great skin, long eyelashes, the ability to move about the world with grace and beauty- but you’re not perfect, because you’re lacking in at least one area of sensory perception. Maybe poor eyesight, maybe you have to ask people what they said three times when they’re talking to you, and maybe you wake up in the middle of the night wondering if your area really had an earthquake, or was it just a dream? You enjoy birdwatching and buying the right kind of feeder and seeds for your feathered friends, and you whistle really well, so you try and talk with them as well. You dress up on Halloween no matter how old you are (and dress up at the drop of a hat, generally- might be a gorilla costume or a midnight blue sequined tux, depending on the occasion.) If you ever get the chance to do yoga with baby goats, you’ll be there. Speaking of which, you can do yoga any day, you have the inner peace for it… but maybe try something a little different and out of the box- Row Bootcamp with Katie?
Have we done it again? Nailed your personality quirks completely? You might not BE a dancer, but if you love one of these instructors, maybe you have the soul of one, and it’s okay if you’re not the most graceful. (Note to audience: your author is NOT the most graceful, and two of her very favorite instructors happen to be on this list, so see? I know things.)
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