I suppose this starts with my Andy Speer mega-fandom (which, I know, makes me delightfully quirky for a finance professional in her late 40s). I’ve been closely following his #speERA saga on Instagram (don’t worry, there will be a recap when he’s done) and learned that as a young Andy, he did both gymnastics and pole vaulting. Those facts were in my mind late July this year as I re-entered my Olympics mega-fandom and thought to myself, “Self, what would the world look like if Andy had continued in the world of professional athletics?”

Like this, of course. (Full credit to Pommel Horse Guy for the body.)

I couldn’t help but wonder… what if we could cast an entire Peloton Olympic dream team? Alex was there in 2016 and almost made it again this year; our second PelOlympian (and first medalist, woo!) is the newly famous Nick Mead. But we can get more creative than that… let’s think outside the box and create our own team. I’ll even add my own very poorly self-taught Photoshop skills so we can all picture it in our heads.

Synchronized Swimming

Set the Barre? More like set the… okay, I don’t know any synchronized swimming terms, but Ally and Hannah would do amazingly in the pool, don’t you think? They’ve entered their nicely-coordinating outfits era (not speERA) and they definitely both have the strength and flexibility to execute those routines. (Do we call them routines? Again, I don’t know synchronized swimming terms, but I bet it takes a ton of core strength.)

Surf’s Up!

Let’s leave Paris for Tahiti (yes, part of the Olympics is being held there, which blew my mind!). Helper Bee Elizabeth suggested our friend Denis Morton would be a perfect PelOlympian in this sport. (It’s another one I know almost nothing about. Hang 10! That’s it. But I’d definitely cheer for Denis.)

Marathon

Meanwhile, back in Paris… the women’s marathon field is nearing the finish line (probably with Becs Gentry as an announcer) and who’s that out front? Realistically, probably Tigist Assefa or Peres Jepchirchir, but if we all try hard enough and clap our hands if we believe, maybe we could imagine Kirsten Ferguson leaving the pack behind.

Archery

Ready, aim, fire! We’ve had a few pregnant athletes at the Olympics in the past (and a few this summer!) but none that really match up to the charm and grace of Emma Lovewell. She exemplifies calm and just seems like someone who could keep a steady hand under pressure. (By the way, when is that baby coming? As someone who’s been pregnant a time or four, I know it feels like forever for the mom, but it’s ALSO forever for the Peloton fandom bloggers.)

Race Walking

The United States didn’t field a single athlete this year in race walking. For shame! We need a true representative of our nation to show the world how it’s done. A personality- perhaps colorful, dynamic, motivating, and kind to all? You know, clearly there’s no one among the regular Peloton instructor corps that fits that bill, so our writer Lori suggested we do as Matty does during Pride every year and call in our favorite backup, Mara Thonner. Despite her name, her hair isn’t really built for distance running… but she definitely has the nails of a track star. Bring it on, queen!

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